A good bye

Idea: Time moves slower when you are conscious that you are doing something for the last time. 


It was a day of lasts. My last day of class as an undergraduate. My last class at the University of Georgia. My last walk through campus as a student. My last whiff of UGA bus fumes on an already-sweltering day (Thank God). 


I have been reflecting a lot lately on my years as an undergraduate. They are not at all what I thought they would be. Then again, nothing ever is (nor should it be). I have struggled, muddled, and cuddled (thanks Mike!) my way through 2 universities, 2 majors (Psychology and Women's Studies...thank you for asking), 4 residences, and 4 years that read like the first line of a Dickens novel...it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Oh what the heck, I'll post the whole sentence:"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us; we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way." How's that for punctuation?? I digress...


My last walk to class was appropriately symbolic. I wore a sandwich board advertising the screening of a documentary some classmates from my Women's Studies (hereafter abbreviated as WMST) capstone course had put together to raise awareness about the impact of state-wide budget cuts on the UGA custodial staff (see link). I walked in the company of a few of my new WMST friends. I passed through the founder's garden on my way to Gilbert Hall, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Or was I just huffing and puffing from the uphill climb? In any case, it occurred to me that all of the growing pains of college had not been for nought; all the struggling and muddling (and cuddling) had transformed me into a passionate woman with a lot of spirit and a lot of spunk (Brits: read "gumption"). Suddenly everything slowed. Not because I was about to pass out from the heat. But because I realized that this was the last walk. Everything was more vivid. I could smell the flowers, I could feel the sunlight, I could hear the gentle whirr of the leaves in the wind. Everything looked more beautiful. And not the way it does when you are visiting a place for the first time and don't look hard enough to notice its flaws. But the way it does when you see the flaws, but decide to look past them anyway.


My time in college has been littered with the occasional heartbreak that comes from not getting it right the first time, ending friendships, and losing someone too soon. But it has also been littered with the joy that comes from new relationships, small (and not so small) triumphs, and lots of new knowledge. I am glad to be nearing the end of this chapter of my life, and I look forward to the next one with bated breath. But as I take a brief look back, I would like to note that I made it. Despite everything, I made it. And this is no small achievement. 


~AFP